Discovering The Difference Between Love and Lust
by genora.shackelford9
Summary: MSLATDH rewrite. Kendall's a singer. Now Kendall has to face a new trial, The Trials Of Marriage. Kendall and Logan are happily married ,but Ken gets fed up with his constant absences and falls into a small affair with a new sexy looking stud he meets at his company. Will Kendall find out the difference between love and lust or will he lose all he worked so hard to build? Mpreg
1. Prologue

**Hello my fellow readers, I've officially decided to give this story another go. It was once My Secret Life As The Doctors Husband ,but do to some difficulties, I decided I can do better. I will make it better. Hopefully this doesn't have as much spelling errors as my other one did. I just decided to rewrite it because I didn't have the heart to delete my first try. I mean, it was one of my first stories ever on this site so, it's dear to me. I mean, this story is gonna have the same flow, but I'm gonna be adding more detail, more insight. Basically things I didn't add in my first one, that I put in my other three fics. This story was my first work of art and since I'm doing so good on For The Love Of My Pain, I decided to go back to it. I basically have not updated any of my stories in the past sixteen days. That's a shame, for me anyway. I haven't dropped dead but I was determined to finally get this chapter out of the way. It's been bugging the hell out of me, so I couldn't bring myself to post anything until I got it out of the way. I hopefully will try to update my others in the next week or so. Don't panic, it's just been kinda crazy. I guess that's what I get for posting three stories around the same time, hah. Funny, huh. Anyway, I hope this isn't as bad. I mean, this story will be some re-posts until I can fully catch up to where I originally was, so it won't be actually good until the later chapters. I hope you enjoy it, though. I tried my best. Follow, Favorite, and Review. Enjoy!?  
**

**Disclaimer: I do not own BTR, but I wish I did**

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**Chapter 1 – Prologue **

**(Kendall's P. O. V)**

Once again, I found myself in fetal position, sobbing into my pillow. Tears trickling down my reddened cheeks like rain cascading down a glass heart clenching in my chest ever so often, in complete utter sync with each stifling sob that poured out of my mouth. My mind on overload, as each memory and each thought of my once beloved husband Logan filled my malfunctioning mind. Every night I empty my heart, but by morning it's full again, slowly trying to forget, wanting to forget the worst mistake I ever made.

My days that were once filled with happiness and love, were now filled with pain- inflicted sorrow. I didn't even know who I was anymore. I was a ghost of my former self, suffering in an endless pit of darkness, blood, and death. Life was now the most confusing thing. It felt as if I had lost the will to live, slowly sinking in a pit of despair and agony each passing day I wake up to the same nightmare. Passion turned into insincerity, utter truths into bitter lies, pleasure that is now horrid pain. This was my life. Trapped and bound by the very strings I created. Days turning into lonely nights with no remorse for my bleeding soul.

A soul that burned with an intense agony so bad that with each thought that filled my mind, I died a little bit more inside, striving for the need of existence. A soul slowly wavering so ferociously as I remembered each touch, each smile, each laugh. It hurt so bad. The many cracks and hole in my heart slowly becoming bigger with each passing hour I was away from him. Slow droplets of him seep in through the night's soft caress. At dawn, I overflow with thoughts of what we had, and aching pleasure that gives me no respite. Love cannot be contained. The neat packaging of desire splits asunder. Spilling crimson through my days, long languishing days that are now bruised tender with yearning for the brunette.

Slowly spent searching for a single fingerprint, a scent, a breath you left behind deep inside my aching heart. I found myself sobbing harder into the cotton pillow, my throat burning as I continued to cry. I clutched the black satin sheets painfully as I tried to seek refuge in my soft surroundings, letting them comfort me in their tender-like essences. My protruding belly rubbed against the thick sheets, along with the many bruises that aligned my once porcelain skin, drowning it in the deep colours of yellow and purple, feeling the small life inside of me move ever so slightly, reminding me of the choice I've made.

This is why I stayed. The little life that needed tender, love, and care. A little reminder of the many nights I spent with Beau, being in someone-else s arms instead of my husbands. The reason I had to forgive him no matter how many bruises that laid across my soft, porcelain skin, constantly lingering like tattoos, no matter how many nights I cry myself to sleep thinking of what happened just hours prior. Every bruise had a memory, a past that led up to my inevitable ending. Each bruise reminding me of the happy life I once had, how I tarnished the one thing that made me want to get up in the morning and the one reason I slept at night. Logan. It was another reason I could never go back to the man I loved. A painful truth that was burned into the deep depths of my withering heart, knowing I can never undo the forsaking betrayal, making my heart cry out in blood and tears.

I missed him. Hell, I still loved him and it would be a lie if I said I didn't. No words could ever begin to describe how true that phrase was. I truly hated myself to the very core for hurting the only man I've truly ever loved, for walking away from the best thing that gave my life meaning other than the new life I was gonna produce, and for making the one mistake that made my heart quiver in unquenchable sorrow. I mean, I always thought cheating was for people who thought they didn't have worthy enough partners. Little did I know, the moment I met Beau Harris, I would become one of those people. That the day I met him, I would officially feel like I signed my soul over to a demon, creating a life that has now binded me to him forever, and ended my own life as I once knew it.

All I could think of was, How could I let this happen? I had a wonderful life and I destroyed the one person in the world who had ever made me happy. How could I betray the one I loved? I sank deeper into the bed as the sobs continued to wrack my body, my heart wrenching as the familiar feeling washed over me, driving me to despair as the many emotions began to fill my withered heart. Anguish, desperation, melancholy. All of them slowly pulling me down into the dark abyss of my tethered soul, slowly sinking into the depressing thoughts of my beloved Logan, wishing that I was in the arms of my beloved husband instead of the demon that now held my soul prisoner.

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**Well, that was all. I hope y'all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I really hope it wasn't as bad as my first try. Anyway, I have to get to my other stories. I ain't on my grind. Sorry y'all. Anyway, thank you for reading. It's already 7 am and I've been up since 3 am so, I'm going back to sleep. Anyway, I hope I get good followers and favorite-rs behind this. Follow, Favorite, Review. **


	2. The Beginning

**Hello, my fellow readers. I've decided to fit one more chapter into my time slot before I jump off the grid, after this I'm strictly gonna be focused on **_Poisoned Heart_** for the time I'm not doing my other stories. Anyway, thank you all for reviewing, and as long as y'all keep doing that, I'll keep writing. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this chapter. I had to completely reconstruct it, but I hope it won't be too bad. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this one as much as you enjoyed the last one. Enjoy!?**

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**Chapter 2 – The Beginning **

**(Kendall's P. O. V)  
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My mind blank as I stared out the window, watching as the merciless sun which had baked the packed earth since dawn, was now setting swiftly and decisively. The scorched earth held all the fury of the sun now and heat radiated up from below any businessman or women still out after sunset. The land, though unforgiving, was also beautiful. The view of the gorgeous blue, crystal waters of the sandy beach could still be seen from the modern-style mansion that held me now. The beautiful colors of orange and red painting the sky, dancing in a synchronized and immaculate dance across the multicolored horizon as the blue, crisp waters sloshed and shimmered from the sun's illuminated light above it. Wide stretches of horizon unbroken by any landmarks, man made or otherwise held an unearthly fascination for it's vastness and beauty. A fascination that many men had found themselves robbed of ensconced in it's unending uniformity.

Sighing, as I played with the blue silk robe underneath my fingertips, thinking of no other than the man I chose to spend my life with, the man I married. Bestfriend, Lover, Loving Husband, Logan Mitchell. I got up and comfortably sat on the brightly-colored bed, awaiting my young husband's return, longing for his presence. The feeling of loneliness and despair, clouding and darkening my aura in the deep depths of my beating flesh, carving and deeply embedding it in the deep parts of my blackened soul as I thought of him. I found myself slowly sinking into the soft, vanilla sheets that covered my bed in it sensual touches, my heart sinking into my blackened soul with each painful and agonizing second that slowly ticked by.

I have to admit that Logan and I's relationship was not in the best place at the moment. It just seemed like my life has become routine, broken in the same loop of everyday madness. I would get home, cook, watch tv and patiently wait for my beloved husband to get home from work. I mean, Logan has always been great to me, loving and caring, but lately I had to admit that the spark that used to be there, had not been there. It has been too long since they had a romantic dinner, too long since they even thought of each other. I'm not gonna lie, ever since we ended BTR, life has been hectic.

Logan getting a full scholarship at Stanford and juggling his hospital job, plus me re-signing with Gustavo and going to Princeton in New Jersey. We were lucky if we saw two winks of each other. Especially now, I have to see Gustavo four times a week now since my new album was about to come out and handle Knight Corp and Logan having to go on business trips every five seconds, we never have time. I mean, Logan just came back from a two-week business trip two days ago and he's about to leave again for three more weeks on Monday. That's why this day was so important. The day that sealed and commemorated our love, the day that began it all. This weekend is supposed to be for our own private anniversary, well before I would have to walk into our home, to the middle of all the romantic things, all the food in the fridge and he would be all alone in their freshly cleaned mansion, in the bed that I cleaned that morning prior, laying longfully in the sheets Logan loved, my heart bleeding and aching as I yearned for the brunette.

It was bittersweet, but no matter how strange it was, it was my life. I mean, I know Logan's job was hard. Nothing about it screamed easy, but I couldn't deny that I missed his presence. Just the thought of him constantly gone made my heart want to cry out in agony, slowly withering, dying with no chance of survival. We sleep in the same bed, but doesn't mean we have to speak. I just hated that he put work before me sometimes. I know he's trying to make a nice life for us and everything, but was it too much just to get some love and compassion for once instead of a voice-mail? I sighed, my only hope tonight is that we can fix things before I lose the one good thing that gives my life joy.,as I found myself clutching the white, fluffy pillow, letting it comfort me in it's soft-like essences, sinking into the deep, dark aura that has now encased my bleeding soul.

**(Logan's P. O. V) **

I took off my doctor's gloves and mask, throwing them in the trashcan as I walked down the sterile, porcelain hallway, weaving my way through the large amount of patients and nurses as I found myself walking into my office. I slumped down in the brown chair at my desk, weary and enervated from a hard day's work, completely devitalized as I groaned. My hearts still hammering in my chest as the automated beep was still clearly evident in my ears, a shrill sound that left me paralyzed and traumatized every time I heard it, leaving a bruised mark on my heart, constantly reminding me of each time it happened that it can never be forgotten. Just the thought of holding someone else s life in your hands, and knowing you're the main factor in if he or she lives or dies was enough to scare even the bravest of soldiers, enough to make the strongest heart weaken and incapacitate under it's deep, dark depths of it's carnivorous wings. I groaned, as he ran his hands down his face.

"Had a rough night?" I looked up, hearing a sweet voice I knew all to well. It was my closest friend, Camille Roberts. I was actually surprised when she started working here after she gave up acting.

I mean, ever since I met her back at the Palm Woods, it was always has been her passion. Hell, even when we dated all she could talk or think about was how she wanted to be famous, but she said after she saved a patient on her plane ride to an audition in Denver, from the way that she felt at that exact moment, she knew this is what she wanted to do. I looked at the curly, brown haired brunette who was wearing her lab coat that was precisely draped over her black and blue color-block, striped dress that gently hugged her small body, giving her a small, sad smile.

"I'm fine, Cami." She frowned, shooting me a hard look.

"No, you're not. Logan, you should really quit doing this. You're gonna run yourself into the ground. Come on, you look exhausted. You're bags have bags, and you're not gonna get any taller with that caffeine." as she shot me a disapproving look as I took an another sip of coffee just to stay awake, giving her a frown.

"I mean, seriously Logan, you need to go home, get some rest, and come back in the morning when you don't actually look like a zombie off one of my horror movies. We got this." I thought about it and just shook my head. She just stopped me, cutting me off.

"Nope, go home. It's 3am."

"But, what about the patients?"

"They'll be fine. I got it."

"But, I need to-" as I stood up.

"Nope, I'll clock you out, just go." I huffed. Well, I guess there's no use in fighting.

"Fine." I said, quickly gathering my things in my things in my suitcase and swung my long-drench coat over my shoulder, walking out of my quarters. I ran my hand through my raven-like hair as I walked through the receptionists office, passing each patient. Hearing the blondes call as I walked off.

"Goodnight, Mr. Mitchell." Smiling in reply. "Goodnight, Jayne" I said, walking outside, noticing the night crisp air radiating around me, a chill filled with sweet whispers creeping into the air that spoke of an early winter. I gently swung my car keys, approaching the silver, metallic painted Subaru, thinking of no other than my gorgeous husband, awaiting my humble presence at home as I quietly drove back to our mansion.

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**(Kendall P. O. V)**

I sat on plush bed, as I swirled the crimson contents around in my glass, pondering. Where was he? Was he still at work? My heart filling with sadness at the thought, the deep filling of melancholy surrounding me, making my heart drop in the deep parts of my aching loins, bleeding heartache making my heart tremble and ache as the memories began to rush back. Remembering. I mean, this of course was not the first time he missed out on our anniversary. In fact, the tears and heartache have become none other than comforting, and waking up to the same empty and lonely feeling that painfully puts me to sleep have become nothing more than a sweet pain that I now craved with every fiber of my being. Like a bee addicted to nectar, the pain has become my only source for survival, the only thing that makes me feel alive instead of just another useless object in Logan's life.

I found myself looking at my silver-encrusted watch. It's 3am. He should have been back by now. I sighed, once again welcoming the pain of my bleeding heart, letting it devour me as I blew out the candles on our bedside and cleaned our room of any romantic traces. I gently pulled my silk robe across my body, covering my naked flesh as I laid back against the plush pillow, letting a single tear run down my rosy, creamy cheek, grabbing the photo on our nightstand. We were lying on the grass and Logan's' hands were wrapped around me protectively. I sat in-between his legs while sat behind me. I loved that day. He decided we both worked to much that week and Logan couldn't stand me not being all to himself all weekend. That's when he first started working at the hospital. I missed when we used to spend our time together. Now it's like we don't spend any time together at all.

"Kenny, I'm home!" I wiped my tear-stricken face as the echo of him closing our front door, echoed throughout the entire house, as busied out of our room and walked down our the spiraling staircase, finding Logan in the large, open-mouthed kitchen nibbling on a biscuit. My heart dropping, as I crossed my arms. He grimaced.

"What?" I shook my head, as he walked over to me and held my waist and pecked my cheek. I scowled at him. He raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"Logan, you really don't know what today is?"

"Uh Tuesday? " I sighed, I had a strong urge to scream at him, but I decided against it. Instead, I just looked at him halfheartedly.

"Logan, It's our anniversary. How could you forget?" My voice nothing above a whisper, trying to once again process how a person in their right mind could forget something so special and dear.

"Look Ken, I had a really long day and I'm sorry, but for this one moment could you drop it."

"I can't believe you. I waited up all night waiting for you. You said you'd be back by 9." I said softly, clearly not having the urge to fight.

"The hospital had me working overtime and a last minute patient came in, I had to stay. What did you expect me to do?" Logan replied.

"Whatever Logan." Kendall shook his head and went to the bedroom slamming the door, finding myself pissed beyond recognition, yet dispirited at the same time, basically on the brink of unfathomable tears. My heart slowly sinking into the deep pits of despair and insanity as I cuddled into the soft sheets.

"Kenny?" Glaring at nothing in particular, I shifted not wanting to look at him, ignoring his presence. I heard Logan sigh as he climbed o the left side of the bed.

My mind on overload, as I laid in complete utter silence. I want things to be okay between us. How can that be if Logan won't meet me halfway? Hell, does he even want to? I found myself sinking deep into the warm embrace of the satin, vanilla sheets, planting my sorrow upon them as I let them whisk me away into their imitation hopes of security and reassurance, falling into the black wings filled with lies that I sadly had come to believe, my heart breaking with each agonizing tick of the clock, breaking a little bit more with each breath I continued to take, letting the steady beat of my already withered heart once again lull me to sleep, slipping into the sweet darkness that I have now considered an uncontainable pleasure.

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**Well, that was all. Dang, this was longer than the first chapter of MSLATDH. Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed this, because I worked really hard and I would really like to know if this was better than first lousy attempt. Please review. Anyway, thanks for reading, and I'll see you again soon. Peace, Genora:)**


	3. Stinging

**Hello, my fellow readers, I have finally decided to do an update on this. It's gonna be longer than my last one. This story will drag on for a while until I can get to where I originally was and once again I say, Jarlos and Jak will be featured, but I changed their marriage problems this time. Let's just say only one in the three couples will be at fault, and that's gonna be the only info I will give away on that matter so you guys don't figure out who. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy it.**

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**Chapter 2 - Stinging Wounds**

**(Kendall's P. O. V)**

I was woken up by the sunlight peering into the window, the sunlight drenching over my light, porcelain body, burning my hands and toes in it's coal-like heat. My eyes opened slowly, yet painfully. My eyes still red from the tears that leaked out my eyes just hours prior. I rubbed my hard, tear-stricken face, as I sat up, finding Logan was gone once again. I looked over to his side of the bed, finding it neither ruffled nor clumped as always, as if no one even laid there. My heart plundered in my chest, as I lifted the embroidered note off of his pillow. I began to read it, dreadfully. Logan's imperious handwriting catching my attention.

_"I went in early. They called me in earlier than I expected. I'll be back in a few hours. I love you.- Logan"_

I glared at the letter tearfully, as I balled it up in my fist, throwing it across the room in anger, knowing those three words held nothing, but lies. I knew in my tattooed and broken soul he truly did, but he constantly made no points in showing it to me. I sighed, refusing not to let my teardrops fall on my pillow, as I pulled the vanilla sheets from over me, and got out of bed. My heart dreadfully hanging on my tear-stained sleeve, as I walked across the soft, off-white carpet that adorned my floors, feeling it with a false feeling of softness and love that now brought the room together, as I walked into my darkened bathroom.

The floors graciously padded with a light-mixed cocoa-like tile that matched the deep brown colored walls, white, touch-operated sink and a large Jacuzzi-like tub that looked as if it could hold at least eight people in there at once, and the tall standup shower stood in the far corner. The only light that could be seen was the tall, flickering candles that sat upon the porcelain-swirled countertop, shining brightly upon the already filled-up tub. The bubbles and multi-colored rose petals that sat upon the freshly-filtered water, contrasting beautifully with the lavender and lilac scented candles that shined upon them.

My face contorted in be bewilderment, yet still anger that quivered within my loins. I hated Logan. I hated him so much. I really did. He always did this. No matter how many times we scream and yell at each other over the same damn thing, which now is constantly, he always leaves something 'sweet' for me to wake up to. It pisses me the hell off. Yet, I hated how I still couldn't help, but love him no matter how many times it leaves me flustered and confused every time he did it. Although, I still couldn't understand why. I mean, you can do all this, but you can't stay home. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother.

I sighed, as I stripped, letting my clothes fall loosely beside the tub, as I climbed in, instantly feeling the warmness of the water surrounding me, opening up every pore on my body, letting my mind slip away, as I sank in. I closed my eyes to appreciate the lighted, scented candles that gently, but decisively fused with the very sweet and pungent aroma of roses. My mind was at ease, as I breathed in swirls of fog rose up from the tub as I not only soaked my body, but I tried to soak my mind, wanting all the bad memories to seep out of my mind and into the multi-fragrant air.

Yet, thoughts of him still seemed to creep into my head, along with the morning's soft cress, my heart still aching so much, I'm surprised I was still able to breathe. Like snake' s venom, it flowed miraculously and painfully throughout my veins, as I felt the pain once again rise up within me just as the sun peered in through my bathroom window. I couldn't help, but allow it to take control of me as I sank deeper into the water clouded in despair, as the many thoughts began to seep into the deep crevices of my subconscious. Like wings of an eagle, the darkness overshadowed me, taking me hostage in the deep confindments of my mind.

_"Do you know what today is?" _

_"Uh, Tuesday?"_

I glared at particularly nothing. I couldn't help, but be pissed. Yes, I may seem selfish, but I never did care about material things. They were only manufactured. Logan, that is, wasn't. He was human and he had a heart that unwillingly captured mine at just a mere glance in my direction. I only wanted him. If I never got anything else, he was who I wanted above all else. I mean, I would never have agreed to marry him if I didn't think that, if I didn't loathe in his very presence in my life. Before the fame, Before the money, he was all I desired. The nerdy, quirky brunette that I had drastically come to fall in love with.

I didn't care about money, because in the end, it was just paper. It held no emotion and it certainly held no heart. I'd gladly give it all up just for him to to love me, kiss me, and adore me like he used to. He's my everything and I've surely given my all, but how can I give him something that I don't have left. Piece by piece, he stripped it away, leaving me with nothing, but a broken dream of what we could be, my heart broken and shattered, striving for the need of a mere purpose in his life. I just wish he would give me a piece of his heart as though I've already given mine. I just want to love him, have him love me like before. Am I wrong for that?

After I got done with my bath, I stepped into my room, walking across the carpet to my walk-in closet that held all of my business atire as well as my music-making atire as well. I looked at the Rolex on my wrist.'8:30'. I sighed, if I don't get ready now, I'll be late. Yeah, I was CEO of my own firm, so I can get there whenever I want, but presentation was everything. I quickly threw on a off-black suit combined with a white shirt and light purple tie, as I grabbed my suitcase and made it out of the mansion. It take me long to get to the office considering it was just a merely ten minutes from my home.

I got out of my white Mercedes, keys jiggling a soft melody in my hand, as I stepped on the sidewalk to the glass building I was approaching. It was a tall building with windows so shiny, you could basically see the future through them and a tan brick foundation highlighting the very ecru-like arched entrance, Knight Corp. to be exact. It was giving to me by my father. He basically built it from the ground up, and it's been in business for the past ten years. Basically,ever since I was a mere preteen. In truth, he wasn't very present through my time in BTR. He was doing his second tour overseas in Iraq. In fact, it was one of the things that broke my parent's marriage apart when he wanted to stay overseas. He even got remarried to some British guy over there that I've currently already forgotten the name of. I mean, we saw him constantly even though he was many miles away, he still had to raise Katie of course, but he just found that this place just didn't seem like home anymore. After he announced he wasn't coming back, he decided to hand it over to me.

Even though, I wasn't interested at first, I slowly grew to love the thing that held one of my dad's many gracious passions at heart, that holds and captured his very soul. Besides hockey, of course. I walked into the twin, glass double doors and almost instantly, my ears were bombarded with the many sounds and rumblings of my many business associates, as well as my staff. Wow, the gorgeous sound of work in the morning. I thought partly sarcastically as one of my employees, Nick, ran up to me. My eyebrows went up in obvious question.

"Uh, Mr. Knight I as wondering what you wanted me to do about The Blaine account because they are begging for your reply and are actually getting a bit angsty."He said, as the black-haired, hazel-eyed man rubbed the back of his head. I growled mentally. Yeah, William Blaine, he was a fairly rich and quite bold man who kind of held my business good at heart, and he made a lot of profits to my company last quarter, and surely was good for business, but he was a pain in my ass. He constantly made ways to make my job harder, and I didn't need the headaches. Not today.

"Close it." I said, without a second thought and he nodded obediently, as he scampered off. I sighed, as I steadily made my way to the elevator, stepping inside, and rode it to the very top of the building to my office.

I opened the big, heavy brown doors to my office, and in it was my office. It was a fairly big office that took up at least a quarter and a half of the space on the top floor. To me, it was the homiest part of the entire building. It was an open room that held a beautiful view of L.A, with windows that covered almost every inch of the room, along with a small balcony that sat on the side of the pictures of my family photos were still hung on the bright-colored walls from when my dad was here, and a small black-leather living room suite along with a red area rug stood in the far corner next to the window. My large special-designed cherrywood desk stood in the middle, along with a cream-colored carpet that adorned the floors beneath it. I took a deep breath as I approached my desk that was stacked with papers that either needed authorization or just needed signing.

Soon the pile, turned into a mere sheet of paper that now sat upon my desk. I steadily scanned over the forms for the basement reconstruction. Apparently, not everyone in this business is here to wish me good fortune. I guess the good thing is, at least no one got hurt. I quickly signed on the dotted line, before I was interrupted by a small, swift knock on my door. I sighed, my head slightly aching from the many words, sentences, and contracts I just skimmed over.

"Come in." I looked up and caught sight of my best friend, No and my other friend Jared. No smiled.

"Hey Hockeyhead, here's the transcripts Alan wanted me to give to you." I smirked.

"How long are you gonna hold that nickname against me?"I said, as I took the vanilla folder from her as she giggled.

"Oh, I don't know. Forever." I laughed. After we all left the Palm Woods and graduated, me and Jo had a run-in with her father and we decided to go in business together. She mostly handled the business and traveling deals that I couldn't. Especially when she got pregnant by Stephanie. They said due to her pregnancy, she couldn't act or it would hurt the baby, so she decided to take off leave with them and she worked at the desk here instead. After she had her little boy, Brandon, she decided to stay and run the place as my co-manager, when she wasn't playing her many acting roles. Even more so now, because she's at least a month pregnant now. Jared grabbed the finished files off my desk and smiled.

"Plus, you're the only person I ever knew who made speeches a thing?" Jared said, joining Jo in a laugh. I shook my head at their antics. Then, there was Jared. Jared didn't come to stay at the Palm Woods until our last year there. He signed with Gustavo a year before I did. He was quite a strange one. He had a funny and articulate aura about him. He had blue eyes and long shaggy brown hair that went to his shoulders, light muscle, tan and a small, but a kinda thick frame that could be noted as curvy with a light masculine jawline and hips and backside that poked out quite a bit too. He was even kinda given off to be a man slut too. I thought it was quite funny though, considering his personality, you would never have thought he has two of the highest degrees in law and he's not even thirty, let alone could sing. It was another one of the world's greatest secrets that left me strangely bewildered. I smiled back at him.

"Why are you even here, I thought you were going to close that business deal with Intercorp. in Washington." He shook his head.

"Oh, that's not until Wednesday. He can wait. Plus, I wanted to stay back to hear the deats of a certain anniversary yesterday." Jo raised an eyebrow.

""Oh, that's funny. You can remember everyone else's, but you didn't bother to remember your own when you were dating Tony." Jared smirked. I chuckled. Here it goes.

"One, he didn't either. Two, he was a prick. Three, no one, and I mean no one can tame this tiger." He said, as he ran his fingers through his hair in a pose-like motion.

"Plus, I'm more interested about hearing about Kendall's. How'd it go? You're planning a trip to Paris, had a romantic dinner, or did you guys play an old game of 'Save Me, Logie.' Jo laughed, as the tips of my ears turns red, but I could still hear the agonizing shrill sound of my heart breaking and falling into the deep dark abyss of my mysterious, blackened soul as my heart plummeted in my chest at the mere mention of how I was reminded of how my marriage really was breaking apart. The thought that left me broken and saddened everytime.

"No, actually, he forgot." They both paused and looked at me with an unknown. The first thing that came out of Jared's mouth was.

"Did you want me to kick his ass, because I totally have a guy for that, you know-" I watched as he was cut off by Jo smacking his arm.

"Ow, what?" I sighed and their eyes widened. I smiled sadfully, trying to mask my pain. I was a Knight after all.

"Guys, it's okay. I'm fine." Jared and Jo smiled. Jo looked at me.

"I'm pretty sure something just came up. This is not like Logan." Not the one I know. I thought sarcastically, as I tried to hold back the heavily filled dam behind my eyelids. Jared put a hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, I bet he's already thinking of a million ways to make it up to you, right now." I smiled.

"I guess so." Jared smiled.

"Well, who's in the mood for Chinese. I'm hungry."Jo said, as Jared and I laughed, even though the smile on my lips hurt worse than the aching in my heart.

"You're always hungry." Jared smirked her. She gawked.

"What? What the baby wants, the baby gets." Jared shook his head.

"Wanna come with?" I shook my head.

"I got some stuff to finish up back here." I said, painfully trying to muster a smile, no matter how much I died a little more very time inside. Jared grimaced.

"Oh no, you are not leaving me with her pregnant, carrot eating friends. I mean, the guys are either too stuck up or the girls are mean and pregnant. You can't win." Jo glared at him, smacking him once more.

"I'm fine, I promise." He sighed.

"Fine, but when the walls finally collapse around you, we'll be at the bistro." He said, as they began to walk away, their conversation echoing through the halls as they left.

""I'm craving a pickle too."

"Pickles are gross."

"They're wonderful."

"Not the way you eat him."Jo popped her head back in the door.

"We'll bring you something back too." Jared peeked his head back in.

"That is if she doesn't eat it on the way back." They walked off and the last thing I heard was an occasional 'ow.' from Jared as they ran down the halls.

It wasn't until they were out of ear-length until I finally let the tears fall down my now reddened cheeks.

_"Yeah, I bet he's already thinking of a million ways to make it up to you, right now."_

I let out a small illicit sob. If only I could still believe that was true. I collapsed on my desk, pouring out all of my sorrows as I let the melancholy and desperation to be held once again devour and consume my bleeding soul along with the reminiscences of my withered heart, as I cupped my hands to my face and just cried.

* * *

**(Logan's P. O. V)**

My heart thrummed violently in my chest, as I signed my patient's prescription. My mind thinking every possible thought as I thought of Kendall. I honestly had no clue what to do about him, about us. Every word that he said from last night was still whirling around in my overburdened subconscious, his many emotions that ran across his perfect, but delicate features as I snapped at him.

_"Drop it, Logan. I can't believe you. I waited up all night for you. You said you'd be back by nine." Desperation and hurt permanently etched on his face as he stared at me in disbelief._

_"The hospital had me working overtime and a last minute patient came in and I had to stay. What do you expect me to do." Pain ran across his features immediately, his shattered heart swimming, drowning in his gorgeous emerald green eyes, looking as if he was about to cry as I spoke._

My heart broke in my chest, bleeding profusely as I tried to think of a way to fix it, but the more those heartbreaking thoughts came to mind, the more my subconscious throbbed with the unearthly urge of desperation for not knowing the answer behind my problems. The pain hurt so much, it was almost surreal. It was as if a person came in and slashed a knife deep with my aching chest. I loved my Kendall dearly, but what am I supposed to do when the world constantly gets in the way of our afire love? Is it wrong for me to let it?

I sighed, knowing the obvious answer as I handed the prescription to a nearby nurse. One of my co-workers, Jason came to stand next to me. He was a really joyous and friendly type of guy. Nothing was right if he didn't have a smile on his face. He was around six feet, blue eyes, and had brown hair. He started working here just a year ago. Even though he had a PH.D ,to the rest of us, he was just a rookie, but he was still very skilled and got the job done better than some of the doctor's who worked here for six years. He was also a great friend.

"What's up, Lo? How's Kendall?" I huffed.

"Not good. He's still mad at me at me for coming in late and missing our anniversary last night." I said, the words piercing my throat like poison-covered knives as they fled out of my mouth.

"I feel horrible." I sighed, tiredly as he put a comforting hand on my shoulder. He smiled at me brightly with an expression that kind of reminded me of a certain Latino. I smiled slightly, no matter how much it hurt. I nodded. Camille popped from behind the desk stopping both of our heartbeats. She jumped over it, and I took her hand pulling her lightly off the desk. She smiled brightly.

"Did you just say your anniversary was yesterday? How could you forget? You know, this sounds similar to last year. You can't just blow off your anniversary, Lo. It's special, and it's bad luck for it not to be celebrated." She said, as thumped me against the head head. I grimaced.

"If I missed mine, Lucy would be fucking pissed and I bet Kendall's no different. I bet he's hurt right now. You better fix this first thing with the freaking quickness. Understand brainwave?" She said, as she grabbed my ear and squeased it hard.

"Ow, okay. Just let go." She giggled.

"That's better, and I hear one complaint out of him, you getting it Mitchell." I shook my head. She Level A nuts.

"I don't want to see you step a foot into this hospital tomorrow. Spend some time with your 'Kenny.' She said, with a teasing smirk. I smiled.

"Fine." I said, quickly, but hesitantly, my heart hammering in my chest at the very thought. I just hope I don't mess it up.

* * *

**Well, that was all folks. I hope I did at least okay. Now, I'm going to bed. Anyway, thanks for reading. Follow and Review. You know I love it. Peace - Genora:)**


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